Abbie's Boyfriends

"I have 2 boyfriends. They're not really old. One's 40 and one's 60." -Abbie

She was telling me about all her friends at preschool--Pretend preschool. She's not actually talking about "boyfriends," but rather friends that are boys. It sounded pretty funny, though.

Encouraging My Weight Loss

"Do you have a friend? Or is that your butt?" --Abbie

It's from Madagascar 2, but she really said it out of nowhere... While I was getting dressed... Then she laughed hysterically. It was a feel-good moment.

On Counseling the Lord

"O Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven, earth and seas, and of all things that in them are, and who controllest and subjectest the devil, and the dark and benighted dominion of Sheol--Stretch forth thy hand; let thine eye pierce; let they pavilion be taken up; let they hiding place no longer be covered; let thing ear be inclined; let thine heart be softened, and they bowels moved with compassion toward us." -Joseph Smith (A prayer during his time in Liberty Jail)

"I thought we weren't supposed to counsel the Lord." -Emily to Alan (sarcastically)

"Yeah. Especially about his bowels." -Alan


Commentary: If we are not at church tomorrow, please come to find out if our car wouldn't start or if our house burned down.

Molecules

"Is it molecules that go from the pizza to my nose to let me smell it? -Nate
"Yes, Nate, it is." -Alan
"Hey molecules, how do you like the inside of my nose?!" -Nate

Winter Driving

Alan asked me how I could get the van up our driveway when he had difficulty with the car (with snow tires). Our driveway is very steep and currently covered in a 2-3" layer of ice (like the rest of Madison roads and sidewalks).

"One of these days I'm going to crash right into the house, 'cause I just gun it and hope that it catches somewhere." (Traction, that is.)

Leche

We were eating at Bennigan's tonight for dinner. On the kid's menu, there was a little blurb about something you could try on your friends. Being the kind mother that I am, I decided to try it on Nate. It said to ask your friend to repeat the word 'silk' three times in a row. Then ask them what a cow drinks. Most people will say milk, even though a cow drinks water. Here's how it went down with Nate:

"Nate, say the word 'silk' three times in a row." -Me
"Silk, silk, silk." -Nate
"What does a cow drink?"
Pause... Thinking...
"Leche." -Nate

Nice, Nate. Nice.
(FYI--Leche means milk in Spanish)

Abbie's Lesson of the Day

"Now the lesson is, we don't punch people in the neck." --Abbie

(She was explaining this to Nate.)