Mommy's Laugh

"I love it when Mommy laughs." -Alan

"why?" -Nate

"Because it sounds beautiful." -Alan

"Twice as beautiful!" -Nate

"As what?" -Alan

"23,000 flowers!" -Nate

Vampire Baseball

Hokey inspirational quote:
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain."

Adjusted for reality:
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dodge lightning."

Capuchin Pajamas

While supposedly getting ready for bed last night, Abbie was singing.  Her song was a narrative of what she was doing.  I wasn't paying much attention because I was mostly irritated that she was singing about her pajamas instead of singing about wearing her pajamas.  Then all of a sudden I heard a line that went something like, "Pajamas.  Capuchin Pajamas."  I can only attribute this to her seeing Night at the Museum which has a Capuchin Monkey in it.  I laughed out loud from the other room for a while at that one.  That didn't really encourage the bedtime routine, but it was just too hilarious.

.

Sarcasm Lost

"Nate, what is so funny?" -Me

"When Abbie tried to take a bite, she fell out of her chair." -Nate, laughing hysterically

"Oh yes, Nate, it's so funny when your sister falls off her chair." -Me, very sarcastically

"I know!" -Nate

Rhubarf

After going on a field trip with Nate's kindergarten class to the Hilldale Farmer's Market, Nate came home and told Alan about some of the items we saw.  The favorite fruit item was "rhubarf."  The best part was that he honestly thought it was called "rhubarf."  He almost didn't believe us when we told him it's actually rhubarb.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Abbie made up both of these jokes:


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get smoked.

Why did the TV cross the road?
Because he wanted to be a flat panel.


:)

What Abbie Likes to Do

"Abbie, what do you like to do?" -Me
"I like to paint and go shopping." -Abbie
"Anything else?" -Me
"Nope." -Abbie

Now I'm going to have such an easier time planning our days.

That, I'm Afraid Will Change You

"First day of medical school they get a stack of textbooks and a dead human being. That, I'm afraid will change you." -The Mentalist

Smell His Arm Pit

I took the kids to see "Earth" today. It's pretty amazing. Abbie loves penguins. During the movie, a bunch a penguins are waddling around the ice. One of them raises his arms/wings. Abbie yells out, to a full theater, "Mommy, smell his arm pit!"

Proud Mommy Moment

We were walking to the park on Saturday morning and talking about our warm clothing. I was wearing my giant mittens that Alan got me for Christmas (thanks, Honey!). I commented that Bella wears big mittens in the Twilight movie and Nate said, "That's 'cause Edward is so cold and she has to stay warm."

My son's Twilight knowledge makes me so proud.

Pirate Baby!

Abbie loves looking at her baby pictures. She also loves looking at Nate's baby book. We were flipping through Nate's baby pictures when Abbie came upon the pages covered with Nate's U/S pics. She took one look at the ultrasound and yelled, "Pirates!"

What?!

Flip Over My Pancakes

During bedtime tonight, we were all messing around and joking--why that always happens at bedtime is beyond me--Somehow we started quoting Paul Blart-Mall Cop. Alan decided that he wanted a ringtone for his phone that said, "Peanut Blart and jelly. What-what-what's up?!" It's a part from the movie. The kids laugh hysterically whenever we say it. I thought that he meant that he wanted the ringtone from the movie--Paul Blart borrows this teenage girl's phone and so whenever it rings you hear, "I'm the type of girl you want to chew all of my bubblegum." So I thought that Alan wanted that song to play when his phone rang. But he couldn't remember the lyrics to that song and while trying to remember them, he came up with: "I'm the kinda girl you want to flip over my pancakes." Hot.

Uno!

At dinner tonight, I asked Nate if he was done eating his spaghetti. He replied, "N-O," spelling out the letters, not saying the word. Abbie was in the bathroom at that moment, with the door open of course, and didn't quite hear what Nate said. All we heard from the bathroom was, "Uno!" I guess she thought that Nate said, "Uno," and that we were playing at the dinner table and it was okay to play on the toilet too.

Vampire Illustrations

After seeing Twilight at the cheap theater tonight, Alan was making fun of Edward again. We were laughing about the part when Edward tells Bella that he likes watching her sleep. Creepy. I suggested that he could have said something like, "It's fascinating watching you sleep," or "I like playing with your hair while you sleep." Still creepy, but a little less so. Alan, speaking as Edward, said, "I like drawing pictures of me eating you while you sleep." Whatever. I'm still on Team Edward.

I need to watch my mouth

"Abbie, you are not allowed to do that. You need to go to timeout right now." -Emily
"I'm not going to frickin' timeout." -Abbie

I laughed. I know that I shouldn't have, but I did. How could I be mad when I know that she took the word right out of my mouth? Oh my little Babs. If this is what 3 brings, I just shudder to imagine 16.

Sigh.

Something to tattoo on his forehead when he hits 14

"I wish I could still live with you when I grow up, Mommy." -Nate

Inappropriate

The other night, we went over to my in-law's house to use their hot tub. After we got out, Nate was refusing to get dressed. This is how the conversation went down:

"Nathan James, if you don't get dressed right now, I'm going to make you ride home naked in the car. And that would be cold." -Emily
"And inappropriate." -Nate

True, true.

Abbie's Boyfriends

"I have 2 boyfriends. They're not really old. One's 40 and one's 60." -Abbie

She was telling me about all her friends at preschool--Pretend preschool. She's not actually talking about "boyfriends," but rather friends that are boys. It sounded pretty funny, though.

Encouraging My Weight Loss

"Do you have a friend? Or is that your butt?" --Abbie

It's from Madagascar 2, but she really said it out of nowhere... While I was getting dressed... Then she laughed hysterically. It was a feel-good moment.

On Counseling the Lord

"O Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven, earth and seas, and of all things that in them are, and who controllest and subjectest the devil, and the dark and benighted dominion of Sheol--Stretch forth thy hand; let thine eye pierce; let they pavilion be taken up; let they hiding place no longer be covered; let thing ear be inclined; let thine heart be softened, and they bowels moved with compassion toward us." -Joseph Smith (A prayer during his time in Liberty Jail)

"I thought we weren't supposed to counsel the Lord." -Emily to Alan (sarcastically)

"Yeah. Especially about his bowels." -Alan


Commentary: If we are not at church tomorrow, please come to find out if our car wouldn't start or if our house burned down.

Molecules

"Is it molecules that go from the pizza to my nose to let me smell it? -Nate
"Yes, Nate, it is." -Alan
"Hey molecules, how do you like the inside of my nose?!" -Nate

Winter Driving

Alan asked me how I could get the van up our driveway when he had difficulty with the car (with snow tires). Our driveway is very steep and currently covered in a 2-3" layer of ice (like the rest of Madison roads and sidewalks).

"One of these days I'm going to crash right into the house, 'cause I just gun it and hope that it catches somewhere." (Traction, that is.)

Leche

We were eating at Bennigan's tonight for dinner. On the kid's menu, there was a little blurb about something you could try on your friends. Being the kind mother that I am, I decided to try it on Nate. It said to ask your friend to repeat the word 'silk' three times in a row. Then ask them what a cow drinks. Most people will say milk, even though a cow drinks water. Here's how it went down with Nate:

"Nate, say the word 'silk' three times in a row." -Me
"Silk, silk, silk." -Nate
"What does a cow drink?"
Pause... Thinking...
"Leche." -Nate

Nice, Nate. Nice.
(FYI--Leche means milk in Spanish)

Abbie's Lesson of the Day

"Now the lesson is, we don't punch people in the neck." --Abbie

(She was explaining this to Nate.)